Pie Palace

Twice this week I’ve had the pleasure of being accosted by evangelists. Evangelist #1 was an open-source zealot who told me I was a prostitute because I write software for a company¹. Evangelist #2 was a 69 year old guy on the bus, who started talking to me with the conversational gambit “Have you had a second birth?” (which due to his slurred speech sounded like “Have you ever seen a live birth?”), before quoting gospel at me.

Evangelist #2 was the more annoying one. After listening to his blather for a couple of minutes, I got off the bus, right in front of the church at First and Bank. The sign in front of the church currently says “FIFA – Football Is For All, Faith Is For All,” which is kind of cute, considering that the FIFA Under 20 cup is running in Ottawa. I had the sudden overwhelming urge to run across the street and smash the sign.

I feel that rage is wholly justified, if misdirected. I’ve had good experiences with St. Giles: they have helped non-profits that I volunteer with, and are pretty progressive. Just because the uninformed and clueless have decided that they know how I should lead my life, doesn’t mean I should damage the property of a seemingly decent third party.

Which is why I hereby decree that when I become king, every February will be open season on zealots and evangelists. Since I don’t want to be too much of a tight-ass about the whole thing, hunting out of season won’t be enforced all that strictly.

1. Odd, since the stuff I work on has a pretty high probability of being open-sourced. (back)