Ubuntu ate my Java
I recently downgraded my Java installation from Sun’s Java 6 to Sun’s Java 5 (ie, sun-java6-* with sun-java5-*). As usual, Ubuntu/Debian made this easy, but I soon discovered that the downgrade hadn’t taken: whenever I tried to run a Java app from the command-line, paths could not be resolved. I was told
Error: could not find libjava.so Error: could not find Java 2 Runtime Environment.
The correct response is to run sudo update-alternatives --config java. Don’t, like this foolish author, start trying to symlink things yourself. It takes effort and is easy to screw up.

If I didn’t have Ubuntu on my computer, your title would be gibberish